Drunk Thanos #4
Written by Grim and edited by Marvelite
"SPACEDOUT MEETS SEVEN-OF-NINE"
CAUTION: SOME CONTENT IS SUITED FOR A PG-13 AUDIENCE
For earlier editions of Drunk Thanos, see the Cosmic Parodies Page!
"Hey Willie, Get me another Grape Drop!"
"Sure thing, Mr. Thanos. Coming right up."
"Saaaay, Willie Who is that lady at the end of the bar?"
"Dont know Shes been here most of the evening Seems to be checking out the guys pretty hard, though I wonder if shes here to meet someone."
"Send her a drink for me, Willie "
"Are you sure, Mr. Thanos? I dont want your mistress to come in here acting like the plague, again. Last time she got mad, all my regulars left and never came back "
"Yes, its OK. Send her one of those lite beers that seem to be so popular."
"Oky doky, Mr. Thanos."
"Uhhhh, Mr. Thanos. She dont want no beers."
"Whaaa? Cant a guy be decent and buy a lady a drink, anymore?"
"Guess not, Mr. Thanos."
"Why is she here, anyway, ifn she dont want no beers?"
"Dont know. She sure talked all funny though I require no alcoholic intake at this time Human, I will see that you are assimilated first "
"Assimil Asssim Whas that? Has she been hangin round that Beavis kid?*"
(*See the Thanos vs. Beavis Special in the upcoming Drunk Thanos Uncut Collection, to receive it by e-mail, see the bottom of this page!)
"Dont know. You know I dont allow no minors in the bar. Jack would nab em at the door. He still dont know how you keep getting past im!"
"Maybe I should go talk to her. Show her that Im a regular kinda guy And that the mistress is outta town!"
"Wellll. I donno. Seems like everytime youre in here, some sort o calamity occurs. But, good luck with er, Mr. Thanos."
"Hello, miss. I am Thanos of Titan. May I buy you a dr Whats them things on your head?"
"My designation is Seven-of-nine, not miss; I dont care who you are; I require no alcohol at this time and these are Borg Implants. Now go away."
"Board in pants? Miss, lets ole Thanos tell ya, You arent no flat board in pants!"
"They are implants and My designation is Seven-of-nine, not miss."
"Wellll, Seventy-nine, why are ya here ifn you dont want no beer?"
"I am searching for a male for the evening. I am pleased to inform you that you were eliminated at first glance."
"Thats Thanos for you. Im first in everyth liminated? What? Why? Why was I liminated? I havent even peed myself, tonight"
"You were eliminated due to the inscriptions on the females restroom wall that read: Thanos only likes it when you play dead and Thanos = Thanot and Dont get involved with Thanos; Youll be home raising little, purple kids while hes out fighting the galaxy "
"Who wrote those scriptions about me?"
"That is irrelevant I have made my selection for the evening."
"That male over by the billiard table. I have chosen him to accompany me for the evening."
"HIM? Thas Spacedout. Hes a friend o mine. Maybe the three of us "
"You. The male designated as Spacedout. I require your company for the evening."
"Yaaaahhh!!! Youre Seven-of-Nine! I would accompany you to the end of the Universe!"
"That is sufficient Now, stop drooling! We will leave."
"Let me grab my drink and "
"Negative. I have all manner of beverages in my transportation outside."
"WHAT? You have a Borg cube parked outside? Im not so sure that I want to ride in one of those!"
"Negative. I have left the collective. I have acquired suitable transportation for this planet. Now, Let us leave this place."
"What kinda transportation did you acquire?"
"I believe your species refers to it as The Batmobile."
Yes, Spacedout, for being such a good sport and enjoying my stories so much (And boosting my ego by responding to all of em!) you are now spending an evening in the fully stocked Batmobile with Seven-of-Nine! Every fanboys dream come true! The rest of you fanboys will have to wait for the next story Any ideas? Send them below, as well as your comments. And if you would like to receive the uncensored, more mature (or rather immature) versions of the Drunk Thanos stories, as well as the special Thanos vs. Beavis story, tell us below (and be sure to add your e-mail address so we can give you the secret location). The Drunk Thanos Uncut Special will be sent out December 29th, so subscribe to it (for free!) below today! Now, go check out Drunk Thanos #5: A Christmas Special!
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