EXT. THE STREETS OF METROPOLIS -- DAY.

Superman EXITS telephone booth.

SUPERMAN

Up, up and away!

SUPERMAN THEME MUSIC PLAYS, as he leaps into the sky.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE DAILY PLANET -- DAY.

Mercy steps forward to battle the Humanite. He is incredulous.

HUMANITE

A dame? Who is she to dare defy me,

being a member of an inferior gender!

MERCY

(brandishing her billy club)

Men call me Mercy. At least, Mercy is the word

men scream when they're on their knees before me!

I killed you once, you big ape, I can do it again.

HUMANITE

You big ape? You're a universe behind, my dear!

10 years ago, I was "You big ape."

20 years ago, it was "Hey cripple!"

Today you can call me Master!

They go nose to nose. 2 SHOT. She begins to tremble, as though realizing what she's up against.

HUMANITE

But never let it be said that the Ultra-

Humanite lacks chivalry. I'll let you throw

the first punch. C'mon, little girl,

take your best shot. Here, I'll bend down

so you can reach me. No? Why, I'll even close my eyes ...

He does so.

CLOSE-UP on her smile. Her fear was an act.

MERCY

Take this, monkey-breath!

She grabs the end of her club and strips off a lead-lined SHEATH, revealing the club as glowing and green. She swings it mightily and fells the Humanite.

Crowd CHEERS.

JIMMY

Kryptonite! That thing's made of kryptonite! Who knew?

Mercy presses her advantage, smashing the fallen Humanite with her green club from every angle.

HUMANITE

No! Stop! Kryptonite is the only weapon

that can damage my invulnerable Kryptonian

battle-suit! You're destroying the

delicate balance of my invincible weapons!

MERCY

That's the idea, you pinhead!

Finally, the Humanite regains his feet and shoots at her. The ray-guns no longer work! So he rips off the shreds of the battle suit and fights her as Doomsday. She punches him as hard as she can, but he doesn't even feel it! He decks her with one blow, and then picks up her body and hurls it skyward.

AERIAL SHOT as she is gently caught in mid-air by The Eradicator, who flies her to safety.

ERADICATOR

Don't worry, Miss Graves. I've got you.

MERCY

You’ve got me? Who's got you?

They land. 2 SHOT.

ERADICATOR

You did beautifully, Miss Graves.

MERCY

(groggy)

I forgot to duck! On the positive side,

it's not every woman who can say she's been

nailed by Doomsday.

SWISH-PAN back to Humanite.

HUMANITE

I'm tired of waiting for Superman! Who's next?

PAN Team Superman.

MATRIX

This looks like a job for Supergirl.

SUPERBOY

This looks like a job for Superboy.

BATMAN

This looks like a job for Batman!

BATGIRL

This looks like a job for Batgirl!

ERADICATOR

This looks like a job for The Eradicator.

LOUD VOICE OFF

NO!

ZOOM UP the height of the Daily Planet to the now-barren roof.

CLOSE-UP on Superman standing defiant in his famous pose.

SUPERMAN

This looks like a job for Superman.

Superman flies down to street level to great applause. SUPERMAN THEME SWELLS. Knock-down-drag-out-fight, punctuated by snippets of action dialogue:

1) MATRIX

Go, Superman! You can do it!

SUPERBOY

Go, Humanite!

MATRIX

Go Humanite?

SUPERBOY

C'mon Mae! All the cool kids root for the heel!

Hu-ma-nite! Hu-ma-nite! Hu-ma-nite!

2) LOIS

Hey Humanite! Where did you get Kryptonian technology?

HUMANITE

Where else but in Kandor, where I was a

female scientist named Cor-Lar. By the way,

Lois, you must be getting low. Drop by my lab

and I'll sell you a few more hits.

LOIS

(pats purse)

No thanks, I'm fine for now. I mean, how dare you!

Lois Lane doesn't take drugs!

3) SUPERMAN

I've always wondered, Humanite, why do you hate me?

HUMANITE

You threw me into a volcano in 1939!

SUPERMAN

That wasn't me, that was Earth 2 Superman!

HUMANITE

He's not around so I'm taking it out on you!

4) PERRY

Where'd Kent get off to? He should be back from

making that phone call by now. He's never around

when Superman needs him, that snivelling coward!

5) HUMANITE

Beg Superman! Beg for mercy!

SUPERMAN

I tried that, but she only has eyes for Lex!

The preceeding snippets may be in any order, at the director's discretion. Conversely, any or all may be cut, with the exception of snippet #2, which is essential exposition.

Finally, The Ultra-Humanite appears to have won. Superman is down and apparently out. Team Superman gather round, prepared to help.

HUMANITE

Back off! Back I say, or I'll kill him!

They have no choice and step back.

2-SHOT of the hero and villain.

HUMANITE

At last after all these years, victory is mine!

I have pursued him across 3 universes -- of which,

by the way, this is the lamest and most bogus --

and I finally have the Man of Steel in my clutches.

Now, all I have to do is finish him off!

SUPERMAN

(groggily coming to)

That ... that would be true, Humanite ...

but you forgot one thing ...

HUMANITE

If you think this pathetic attempt to

stall for time will do you any good, Superman,

you are sadly mistaken. Go ahead, tell me!

What is the "one thing" I forgot?

Long, dramatic pause.

Then Superman revives completely and stands up.

SUPERMAN

THE PARASITE GAVE ME MY POWERS BACK!

HUMANITE

NO-O-O!

Fight resumes ... this time with Superman winning!

SUPERMAN

Yes, Humanite. He felt sorry for me when I was "dead"

and he gave them back. All of them. Every single power

he's leeched off me for years is now mine again.

You are now dealing with the most powerful Superman

since the one who first beat Brainiac!

You wanted to kill Superman? You did! Post-Crisis

Superman is dead. I am Silver Age Superman!

I am 3 times as strong as I was last week!

I can move at twice the speed of thought!

STROBE EFFECT, as Superman appears in a dozen places in random order for a split-second at a time, faster than the camera can follow.

SUPERMAN

I can breathe in space, fly to the edge

of the galaxy and be back for supper.

He flies off and is back a second later, holding a SPACE PROBE.

SUPERMAN

See?

(he dusts it with his cape)

Hmm. V'ger. I'd better put this back,

it could be useful in a future storyline.

He hurls it into space. A few bars of STAR TREK THEME.

SUPERMAN

I can vibrate between dimensions.

He turns into a blur and disappears. He returns a second later, with SPIDER-GIRL slung over his shoulder.

SPIDER-GIRL

Help! Put me down you brute! This is gratuitous

violence! I'm telling my father on you! Daddy!

LOIS

(coldly.)

Kal, put the girl back where you found her -- now.

He does so.

SUPERMAN

But best of all, for the first time since

I was a rookie, I can do this!

Superman spins at super-speed and disappears again. There is a FLASH OF LIGHT, and all shade their eyes. When they open them again PAN the astonished looks on their faces.

SWISH-PAN to The Ultra-Humanite, now a bald man in a wheelchair.

HUMANITE

Wha-what happened? ... NO-O-O!

Superman reappears.

SUPERMAN

I can spin like a top and break through

the time barrier. In fact, I just did.

I went back and stopped you from

inventing Doomsday in the first place!

And I burned all your notes with heat-

ray vision, so you can never recreate him.

Don't count on your henchmen in the submarine.

Arr matey! I scuttled that tub afore'n

she left the Antarctic Sea!

JUMP CUT to Metropolis Harbour, where the pier is intact and the 2 fishermen are fishing as before.

BACK TO SCENE

HUMANITE

Curses! Foiled again!

Superman turns to Henderson.

SUPERMAN

He's all yours, Inspector. Take him away and book him.

HENDERSON

(beside himself)

And charge him with what, Supe? You changed

the past -- he didn't do anything!

PAN TO Centennial Park which has no broken statue, nor a Tomb of Superman.

PAN UP to the Daily Planet rooftop globe, which is intact.

BACK TO SCENE.

SUPERMAN

When the man's right, he's right.

You're free to go, Humanite, but I'm gonna

keep an eye on you, so you'd better

watch your step. Get it? Watch your step!

HUMANITE

Oh sure. Pick on a guy in a wheelchair.

And they call this the PC universe! Um,

my battery is dead. Could someone give me a push?

LUTHOR

Mercy. My life is no longer threatened.

Good deeds are authorized.

Mercy goes to push the Humanite's chair. He grumbles.

HUMANITE

You're a good man in a fight, Miss Graves.

Hiring you is the smartest thing this Luthor

has ever done. Let's get outta here!

I'm getting too old for this shit!

They EXIT.

2 SHOT of Superboy and Matrix.

SUPERBOY

Wow! "Let's get outta here" and

"I'm getting too old for this shit,"

in the same curtain speech! Now that's smooth!

MATRIX

Yes, those Golden Agers were real pros.

Our generation could learn a lot from them.

2 SHOT of Superman and Henderson.

HENDERSON

I want to thank you, Superman,

for only spinning yourself this time,

instead of the entire planet.

SUPERMAN

As I approach my middle-years, I'm learning

the value of self-restraint.

2 SHOT of Superboy and Matrix.

SUPERBOY

Mae, it's time you became my personal bitch!

MATRIX

Okay, sounds like fun!

She morphs into Krypto.

SUPERBOY

Let us fly over the city, righting wrongs,

giving help wherever it is needed!

KRYPTO

Arf! Arf!

SUPERBOY

Up, up and away!

Superboy and Krypto fly off and EXIT.

CUT TO:

INT. DAILY PLANET CITY ROOM -- NIGHT.

An office party is in progress, celebrating victory with all principals, including Team Superman and the JLA.

PAN the party, till Superman is found, declining a drink.

SUPERMAN

No thanks. I never drink when I fly ...

oh what the Hell. It couldn't hurt!

He does a standing chug, as crowd cheers him on!

PAN TO the far side of the room, by the water cooler.

2 SHOT. Superboy, predictably, is hitting on WONDER WOMAN.

SUPERBOY

So let me see if I've got this straight.

You've got this golden rope, right?

And it's a magic rope! When you tie men up

with it, they have to do whatever you want,

because you're will is dominant?

Wonder Woman smiles and nods -- she finds him amusing.

SUPERBOY

And you do this while wearing boots,

a mini-skirt and a metal breastplate.

So what I want to know is -- how did you

slip this past the Comix Code?

She laughs and shakes her head, as if to say, Kid ... you're cute, but you're out of your league!

BACK TO Lois and Superman.

LOIS

You could have warned us.

SUPERMAN

But I did! I gave you that terrific clue,

just before I died. Didn't you get it?

LOIS

What clue?

SUPERMAN

What were my last words?

LOIS

Look, up in the sky, Kara. The name of a loved one

was on your lips. Just like you were dying.

SUPERMAN

No, no, that was the clue. You see, just like Kara

isn't really dead, and will come back to me some day,

letting her name slip was the clue that I was about

to fake my death too.

LOIS

(shaken)

I can't do this. I just can't. Somebody has to tell him,

but it can't be me. The words won't pass my lips ...

Batgirl walks over to them and ENTERS the shot.

BATGIRL

It's all right, Lois. I'll tell him.

SUPERMAN

Tell me what?

BATGIRL

(leads Superman away, gently)

Everything's going to be all right, Superman.

We're just going to have a little chat about

your cousin ...

SUPERMAN

Great! There's nothing I like more

than talking about my beautiful cousin.

She's so brave and strong ...

They drift off to the window.

POV as Lois watches. Batgirl holds his hand and nods as he lights up with enthusiasm. Batman joins Lois.

2 SHOT.

LOIS

Bats, I can't handle this. I don't know

what to do. I love that man. I'd do anything

for him. I've made him famous with my writing.

I solve his cases for him and let him

take the credit.

I once wrestled a 15 foot robot,

and sent Clark Kent to phone in the story

because I was afraid that he might get hurt.

But I can't help him with this. He just won't

face it, Bats! ... And it's killing me.

For once, Lois Lane can't help Superman.

BATMAN

Batgirl will tell him. She'll find the right words.

She's kind, and very wise for her age.

He'll take it coming from her. But Lois?

If she can't convince him, would that be so bad?

You keep saying "The world needs a Superman."

Have you ever considered that maybe Superman

needs a hero too? I patrol Gotham.

I see street punks every day who don't believe

in anything. Then I see nice, clean cut kids

coming out of mosques, or churches, or synagogues,

and they believe in something. Maybe you and I

might think it's silly to believe that

somebody with super-powers who we all know

is dead will someday come back and make

everything right, but who are we to judge?

And the people who believe in something

are happier than the people who believe in nothing.

Superman and Batgirl return.

BATGIRL

Oh Lois, it's wonderful! Don't tell anybody,

but Kara isn't really dead! She's off on a

secret mission, and she could come back any day now!

Lois laughs, joyfully.

LOIS

Why couldn't I have guessed that he'd convince you?

She kisses Kal.

LOIS

Of course, Superman. Someday she'll come back to us.

You just keep believing that.

SUPERMAN

Do you believe it, Lois?

LOIS

You believe it, Superman. That's good enough for me.

Lois toasts Superman, but as they raise their GLASSES, Jimmy yells "STOP!" They all look at him.

JIMMY

Did we just let Lex Luthor pour the champagne?

OMINOUS MUSIC.

SUPERMAN

Lex, you don't have a glass in your hand.

LUTHOR

I'm trying to cut down.

SUPERMAN

(pours him one)

Have a drink Lex. I insist.

LUTHOR

Mercy, would you care to imbibe?

MERCY

Are you kidding Lex? Who knows you better than I do?

LUTHOR

(sighs)

Suspicious people!

He takes the drink and downs it with no ill effects. Collective sigh of relief, then all toast their victory.

LUTHOR

I really had you going, blueboy!

SUPERMAN

Yes, Lex, you did!

LUTHOR

I bet your heart is beating a mile a minute!

SUPERMAN

Yes it is. I honestly thought you were going

to kill everyone in this room.

LUTHOR

Well I won't.

(beat)

I'm only going to kill you.

Party crashes to a halt.

LUTHOR

Your heart is beating fast? Excellent.

Soon you will break a cold sweat and get the shakes.

Then you'll become faint and break out in hives...

SUPERMAN

What ... what did you put in the champagne?

Luthor chortles with glee!

LUTHOR

Something I genetically engineered in the lab.

One of your little friends from Krypton.

The 2nd way to kill Superman. Virus X!

Don't worry, none of us are affected,

it only kills Kryptonians. You have 3 weeks

to live. Naturally, there's an antidote ...

SUPERMAN

(coughing and weakening)

G-give it to me! By all the gods of Krypton ...

LUTHOR

Not so fast blueboy. There's a fee for this service ...

Luthor calmly explains as Superman collapses in chills and moaning.

LUTHOR

I've decided to go straight and start an

R@D firm, LexCorp. I figure Centennial Park's

a good location, and I'll need a little

start up fund, a little seed capital ...

Say, the entire contents of the Metropolis Treasury.

SUPERMAN

They'll ... never agree to your terms.

LUTHOR

I think they will blueboy. How many times

have you saved the world all by yourself?

It's a matter of national security,

keeping you alive. I'll get my pardon

and anything else I ask for. Whaddya say?

Superman crawls to his knees and grabs Luthor's collar.

SUPERMAN

Give it to me!

LUTHOR

Please Supe! You don't think I'd carry it on me?

Promise you'll use your powers to get me

everything I want, and it's yours.

Superman gives in. Luthor reaches for a vest pocket, takes out a VIAL.

LUTHOR

Why lookee here. I did carry it on me!

Open wide, blueboy.

Superman greedily drinks the liquid, then recovers.

LUTHOR

We'll see ourselves out, Supe. I want to

pace off the groundplan of LexCorp.

Lex and Mercy EXIT.

BATMAN

(indicating Batgirl)

Should we go after them?

CLOSE-UP on Superman.

SUPERMAN

No. I gave my word I'd help him get a pardon

and start a business. Superman always

keeps his word. Luthor has finally beaten me.

CUT TO:

EXT. CENTENNIAL PARK -- NIGHT.

Lex and Mercy are pacing off "LexCorp."

LUTHOR

And that, Mercy, is how you kill a superhero.

Not with monsters, but with brains.

What these people have always failed to

comprehend is that they are dealing with

The Greatest Criminal Mind of our Times!

MERCY

I don't get it, Lex. Bruce Wayne said you had

no suspicious expenditures. There was no fund

that could have been a Virus X Project.

LUTHOR

I lied. The champagne was champagne.

The antidote was coloured water.

MERCY

But Superman was really sick!

LUTHOR

He thought he was sick. And the funny part is,

if I hadn't sold him the antidote, in 3 weeks

he would have thought he was dead!

Luthor and Mercy kiss.

CUT TO:

EXT. AERIAL SHOT OVER FARMLAND -- DAY.

Superman and Superwoman are flying, enjoying each other's company.

LOIS

Fortunately, I don't have a jealous bone

in my body. As far as I'm concerned, you could

marry Lana Lang tomorrow, and I wouldn't bat an eye.

(liar! liar! pants on fire!)

It's just that ... You didn't did you? With Lana?

Please tell me you didn't!

SUPERMAN

Why Lois, I'm surprised at you! I didn't do

anything with Lana Lang that you wouldn't do.

LOIS

Well, that's a relief ... I think.

SUPERMAN

Of course, I can't speak for Clark Kent.

You know those Kansas farmboys!

LOIS

It's a good thing you're cute. That's all I can say.

SUPERMAN

Next time, could I please have a less tacky funeral?

The Crash Test Dummies?

LOIS

You got off easy. Slick Willy wanted to play the saxophone!

They both laugh.

LOIS

Kal, the kids are all right.

SUPERMAN

Yes, they are. This universe is gonna be just fine

in their hands. In a few years, we'll be able to retire.

LOIS

But ... not just yet!

SUPERMAN

No, darling ... not just yet!

(mid-air kiss)

Race you to the Fortress!

They fly off into the sunrise.

PAN DOWN TO:

EXT. AN ABANDONED FARMHOUSE -- DAY.

We recognize it as the place where Superman first met Doomsday. KARA ZOR-EL is swinging on the FRONT PORCH SWING, looking bored.

SUPERGIRL

You know what I think? I think the Anti-Monitor lied!

I think he was just trying to get rid of me.

I don't think Superman needs me in the future at all!

(she gets up and looks at the front door)

I definitely have the right address.

(she paces and looks at her watch)

I'm givin' this 5 more minutes, and if I don't

see a monster, then darn it, I'm gonna fly out

to the Fortress and raise a little heck.

(she leans over the rail)

Doomsday ... oh Doomsday ... here monster ...

nice monster ... Doo-oo-oomsday ...

She keeps calling for Doomsday.

CRANE SHOT.

PAN UP to sky, then

FADE TO BLACK and ROLL CREDITS,

as Bonnie Tyler sings "Holding Out For a Hero!"

THE END

We hope you enjoyed this screenplay of what a Superman V movie could have been!  If you enjoyed it, please let us know by e-mailing cpufeedback@yahoo.com or by filling out the form below.  You can e-mail the author at faw555@aol.com.

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