Superman V - Part 6
Written by Fred Walker, Edited
by Fred Walker and Marvelite
SUPERMAN V DOOMSDAY
A screenplay by Fred Walker
Based on a novel by Roger Stern
"You'll Believe a Man has Died!"
(Author's note: The basic concept here is to do a "Death and Life" storyline within the continuity of the previous Superman movies. The title is a Latin pun. It can be read either as "Superman 5: Doomsday!" or "Superman versus Doomsday.")
Continued from Superman V Doomsday Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5
INT. PERRY WHITE'S OFFICE -- DAY.
Hey, where did Jimmy and Superboy go?
They went to the washroom.
Boys always go the washroom in pairs. It's a guy thing.
I would say the #1 priority is to find Superman.
I can double-check the Fortress of Solitude up north.
I will check my own Fortress down south.
I'll ask my Bativac computer, and Batgirl
can organize a search party from the JLA.
Jimmy and Superboy ENTER.
Um, guys, me and my new sidekick just had
a little chat, and we have a theory.
Between my office gossip and his overactive
sex drive, we may have figured it out.
Perry makes pooh-poohing gestures, but Lois is willing to listen.
We have to treat the kids as equals.
It's their time now. Go ahead guys. Jimmy?
Have you considered that maybe we're looking for
the wrong person? I mean, nobody can find Superman
... so, um, maybe we should be looking for Clark?
Yes, where is Clark Kent? He's always disappearing
whenever Superman is out of town, and frankly --
I'm starting to get suspicious!
What's your idea?
Um, you're not going to like this Lois, but has
anyone seen Lana Lang since Clark Kent disappeared?
She, um, she took sick leave. That's why she
couldn't make the funeral.
How much sick leave?
Just ten days. She should be back soon.
When did she take this leave?
Come to think of it, it was right after she took
that personal phone call, the day after Superman died.
I see. And did she look very sick?
She looked fine to me, so I mentioned it,
and then she had a coughing fit. She went home
to Smallville to recuperate.
That scheming cat!
Superboy starts grooving and singing.
Love shack! Baby love shack! Love shack bay-ay-bee!
I will fly you to Smallville, Miss Lane.
Funny little shack! Funky little shack!
Titian-haired beauty my eye! I'll rip out those
titian tresses and make her eat them!
Eradicator picks up Lois and flies her out of the window. Superboy follows.
Wait up! No way I'm missing this!
EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT OF LANA LANG'S SMALLVILLE HOME -- DAY.
TITLE: "Smallville, Kansas."
INT. LANA LANG'S SMALLVILLE HOME -- DAY.
LANA LANG is practising her boxercize to the THUMPING DISCO STRAINS of "Do It To Me, Superman."
The doorbell RINGS. She turns off the cd, hides the BOXING GLOVES, puts on a BATHROBE, sticks a THERMOMETER in her mouth, sprays water on her forehead. Doorbell RINGS AGAIN.
At the last moment she remembers to take out the thermometer and warm it up next to the LAMP BULB. Then she checks a MIRROR, practises a forlorn expression and staggers wearily to the door.
ENTER Lois, Superboy and The Eradicator.
Lana you poor dear, I heard you were sick.
Lois, my dearest friend! What's that smell?
I asked myself. And suddenly I knew that
unique combination of printer's ink,
hairspray and knock-off perfume could only mean
that Lois Lane is back in town!
Superboy makes gag-me-with-a-spoon gestures as the ladies kiss each other on both cheeks and Lois helps her to a chair.
What a lovely titian colour your hair is!
You'll have to lend me a bottle some time.
You're such a role model for young girls,
Lois! Not every woman can honestly say
she's well over 40, and still a virgin!
Sad to say, some girls don't keep it past 14!
They AD LIB a bit. It gets cattier and cattier.
PAN to 2 SHOT of Superboy and The Eradicator.
(whispers to The Eradicator)
These 2 could give lessons to Selena Kyle!
BACK TO SCENE.
They get around to Clark's whereabouts.
Clark's been such a dear! As soon as I
got home I called him, and he flew all the way
to be at my side. I mean, he caught a plane.
How fortunate for you to have such a good friend.
Some women would have to call a doctor,
or a relative, or someone who lives in the same state.
Clark is so attentive! He fusses over me,
and holds my hand, and mops my fevered brow ...
I hope it's not catching, your temperature of
200 degrees! Oh, and her lamp is missing
it's shade. Eradicator, help the dear woman.
He puts it back.
And he runs errands for me. Since I'm bedridden.
Yes, I've been in bed all week, while dear,
sweet Clark goes to the drugstore for me and
gets the groceries. He's in and out all day.
In and out and in and out and in and out,
all day every day, while I lie in bed.
Why, the poor man must be exhausted!
And where is he now?
Business up north, he said. He had to go.
I mean, he's been super, but a man has his limits!
That's all I needed to know. Guys, Lana and I
need to have a little girl talk.
Yes! Catfight! Male demographic rulz! We get to watch!
LOIS and LANA
Oh no you don't!
EXT. LANA LANG'S HOUSE -- DAY.
Door opens and Superboy and the Eradicator EXIT, at the end of Lois' foot!
Door SLAMS behind them.
THUMPS AND CRASHES from inside.
Superboy turns to camera.
Not us! Keep the camera on them, you idiot!
Not us, them! them! ... THEM!
EXT. OPEN SKY -- DAY.
AERIAL SHOT of The Eradicator flying north with Lois in his arms, Superboy tagging along.
CLOSE-UP on Lois' black eye. Then PULL BACK.
Isn't she great? You know guys, scrapping with
Lana is some of the best exercise I get!
One catfight this whole stupid movie,
and it happens offscreen. What a rip off!
EXT. THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE -- DAY.
Could one of you big, strong he-men fly over
to that Giant Key and open the door for me?
I can't lift it ... I'm only a girl!
Eradicator takes a few steps, Superboy shoulders him aside.
This looks like a job for Superboy!
He opens the door.
CLOSE-UP on Superboy.
I am definitely makin' some progress!
EXT. THE NORTH ATLANTIC -- DAY.
UNDERWATER CAMERA shows a distortion in the water. The invisible submarine is also makin' some progress.
INT. SUBMARINE BRIDGE -- DAY.
Humanite in his Doomsday form is captain, and various henchmen run errands saying things like "Aye, aye, cap'n!"
I do not understand, Master, why must we
wear these yellow uniforms? They are so ugly!
For the same reason I make you each carry
in your pockets a common wooden pencil.
To avoid outside interference! Green Lantern's
power ring is useless against anything yellow.
And the magic of Dr. Fate is equally ineffective
in the presence of wood. This time,
there will be no mistakes. Nothing will be
left to chance. There is no ally who can help him;
there is no combination of opponents that might
prove effective; there is no potential strategy
that has any chance of success!
How will my Master kill Superman? He is invulnerable,
and beating him up didn't work last time.
I have 2 ray-guns, one on each power-glove.
Doomsday was designed to be ambidextrous.
The one mounted on my left hand artificially
simulates red-star radiation; it will rob
Superman of his powers. The one on my right hand
is the death-ray. All I have to do is
cross the beams -- and no more Superman!
Would you like me to demonstrate, Reynolds?
I'll, um, I'll take it as read.
REYNOLDS EXITS to another part of the submarine.
This is the end, Man of Steel -- this is the end!
You may posses unbelievable strength,
but you are pitting yourself against a mental giant!
No-one can beat me! No man can defeat me!
The legend of Superman is over, and the day
of the Humanite has only begun!
INT. THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE -- DAY.
Lois, Superboy and The Eradicator creep along quietly, looking for evidence of Superman's recent presence. During which we PAN such famous features as the TROPHY ROOM, with SOUVENIRS of past cases, the SCIENCE LAB where he tries to find a cure for Kryptonite poisoning, and the ART STUDIO where he paints landscapes of alien planets he's been to. They find ambiguous clues, i.e. a BOOK missing from a bookshelf, an OPEN DOOR she's sure she left closed, etc. The director can milk this with SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC and POV shots.
Superboy and The Eradicator find The Clark Kent Room.
Wow! A whole roomful of memorabilia dedicated
"to my best friend -- Clark Kent." Hey,
that proves they must be different people!
Lois sticks her head in the door.
Shh! Do you hear that?
She beckons them outside. They EXIT The Clark Kent Room.
It sounds like running water.
SOUND EFFECT as we hear it too.
We'd better proceed with caution.
It could be Patrick Ewing in that shower.
SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC. She starts to creep along.
(tapping her shoulder)
Lois, you blew your line.
I beg your pardon. I did not blow my line.
Yes, you did. You screwed up the reference.
Patrick Ewing is a basketball player.
Yes, and I've often suspected him of being Steel.
Think about it. He's 7 feet tall, he's black,
he's handsome and he knows New York like
the back of his hand. And have you ever seen
a picture of the two of them together?
Well, have you? ... Marked out!
You were buyin' it flyboy, you were buyin' it
big time! Start printing the t-shirts:
Superboy marks out for Lois Lane!
You kinda like me, don't you Lois?
She musses his hair.
Yeah, Superboy, I kinda like you.
Stick with me, kid, you'll be okay.
INT. THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, THE BATHROOM -- DAY.
CLOSE-UP on a fogged-up SHOWER STALL, in which a MALE FORM can be seen taking a shower. He is singing "Woke up this morning, what did I see?/ A big black cloud hanging over me ..." ("Fly Like Superman" by The Kinks.)
PAN OVER to the doorway. Lois, Superboy and Eradicator peek in.
CLOSE-UP on their puzzled expressions. Lois shrugs.
Kal always sings in the shower! It's him!
That or a clever trap, baited with a hologram
and a recording of his voice.
Well, there's only one way to find out.
She barges in.
Hi Honey, I'm home!
WAIST-UP SHOT as Superman turns off the water and EXITS the shower naked.
Lois, you're picking up strays again --
I warned you about that.
She hands him a JLA LOGO TOWEL, and he wraps it around himself.
Sorry guys, but I thought I was alone.
You know, Kal, if you didn't have super-hearing,
that line might actually work on women!
Hey, nice shiner.
You should see the other woman.
Not that I'm not glad to see you, Superboy,
but I think you should spin like a top again and
break through the time-barrier. If we spend too much
time together, it could create paradoxes.
I'm not you as a kid. I'm the new Superboy.
Don't you watch TV?
Lois takes him in her arms.
Uh, Rad, from the way that towel is hanging,
I think we should leave 'em alone for a couple of minutes!
Make it 5 minutes, guys! They don't call me
"super" for nothing!
To be continued.
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